Pick a number, any number…

The Holy Number 16It’s Monday so we’re standing around the water cooler 1 this morning, doing the usual – running our mouths, going over our respective weekends; who had the on-call duty; who had to travel to Butte Ugly, ND, to pick up the latest dirt-bag suspect; who fired their weapon recently (and whether they were cleared of the resulting mandatory investigation); and, most importantly, had anyone managed yet to get next to that hot DEA agent transferred in from San Diego?

The boring responses (Travers; No one – what, go to ND on a weekend? Fuck that…; No one since Fredericks back before Christmas (he was cleared); And, most importantly, no.) were also unsatisfying time-wise – too brief and no one was ready to work yet.  Fortunately one of the new kids 2 started in on some pro NFL’er stepping down this year and how his old university should retire his number 3, whereupon one of the old hands 4 opined that no college number should EVER be retired; sure Sayers was hot shit, but what if?, WHAT IF mind, they hadn’t retired #48? Then Riggins could have worn it instead of #44 when he trashed all of Sayers’ KU records, which prompted a new kid to ask who the fuck were Sayers and Riggins and an old hand to reply who the fuck cares, it was only KU and they ain’t done shit since and ain’t likely to do shit ever again, with the possible exception of making it past the first round of March Madness this year…

At which point there was a brief silence while several men silently petitioned whatever imaginary deity (whose codex they pretend –at least on Sundays– to observe) for KU’s safe passage through at least the Sweet 16 and oh jeebus I’ll sacrifice my brother-in-law’s sons if they can Win It All.

…to which a new kid hotly squawked that may be true but they’re still better than the Chiefs, which seems a stretch, but sadly not much of one, and veered the conversation off to another avenue completely, whereupon I exited the roving confab and ducked back to my office.

But I couldn’t quite put the question to bed: what jersey number(s) should be retired in Kansas City? I can see Len Dawson’s. But after that? Meh…

And here, once again, the innernetz saves us: of course there’s a site that asks the same question. 5

You know, in case you’re not ready (still) to work either.

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Show 5 footnotes

  1. This is totally notional; everyone gathers around a certain individual’s desk. Not because they have pastries or coffee or even a heaving bosom – we just do. No one knows the meta reason for this, if there’s an unspoken history (perhaps a long ago death, firing or promotion to WDC) or it’s a feng shui demon directing the tradition, it’s just something we do.
  2. Yeah…probably late 20s.
  3. No idea of the particulars; if it doesn’t directly involve college football no points are registered with my internal scorekeeper.
  4. Yeah…all older than dirt.
  5. Couched, as is apt, in the language of religion: which is each city’s most sacred number? It is to guffaw.

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