Rush Limbaugh desperately needs to host Saturday Night Live.
The Fat One and Saturday Night are a perfect fit; in a very real sense SNL has devolved into little more than America’s preferred platform for reintroducing questionably rehabbed though suitably chastened celebrities to polite society.
Whether they deserve it or not. Take Lindsay Lohan. 1
One trusts and hopes Lohan will regain control over her life, but her past track record is not promising. And, hey! Didn’t she just get out of jail? As in straight from lock-up to the green room? That doesn’t matter to SNL‘s Lorne Michaels; he will pimp whomever whenever to maintain the show’s painful numbers. 2 So why not Limbaugh?
It would give El Tubbo a “graceful” opportunity to actually apologize to Sandra Fluke, something the gasbag has to this point done only in the obliquest of terms, using his writers to pen a backhanded explanation of his latest brain fart:
“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke…
My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.” (via)
Assuming El Tardo’s writers are sincere in their desire to recant what passes for their employer’s thoughts, one is still left with a quandary; how do you call someone a slut without actually saying so? With “humor” of course. And what better venue to thread that needle than Saturday Night Idiocracy?
Within the context of the show Limbat’s puerile attempts at reason are sure to come off as funny as the matronly Lohan’s.
Wait…never mind. 3
- Gawd, pu-leeze! I swear to you 8 year old Asta could do a better job of delivering lines from off-stage cue cards than Lohan did last night. And when compared to the perfection of Hugo -which we had seen at the Screenland just a couple hours prior- Lohan’s performance was nothing less than pitiful. ↩
- SNL averages a 2.3 rating with adults 18-49 in 25 markets with Local People Meters: competing coverage of any weather calamity, the Cricket World Cup or Lisa Teachman‘s smile will far outstrip an average SNL viewership. ↩
- The overall show was so bad we could only made it ’til Seth Meyers’ The News segment started. Then we went into the den -which we’re in the middle of redoing- and watched the paint dry. While so engaged I wondered at what point did both SNL and El Fatso become such institutions that they’ve become, so to speak, too big to fail? Variety shows and radio hosts are canceled and let go weekly – what makes these pieces of shit bullet-proof? ↩