fair warning: way more than 140 characters ahead

I’ve spent the last several days triaging my life.

Well, at least those portions of it that fell casualty to my surprise jaunt to South America. Front and center was Nora and the Astas; a heartfelt smile and trinkets from abroad on my return were not enough. Especially as that is the de facto standard -*yawn*.
What tristesse native beads could not assuage, Johnny Depp 1 jollied away. Add a jumbo bag of butter soaked popcorn, icy cold bottles of water, several boxes of Dots to a couple hours’ worth of IMAX 3-D Lewis Carroll madness and I was once again DADDY!!!!!

Nora was another matter. 2 But everything is everything again on the home front.

Work? Well, work…pays the bills. What can I say, you get to be of an age and that’s all you’re interested in, paying the bills. I understand perfectly how Tommy Lee Jones felt when he told Charlton Heston to leave him on that deserted planet that one time, and not just ’cause he had the herpes simplex from the cute talking ape either, but because of the sheer cussedness of it all. Had Alfredo Garcia, Generalissimo Francisco Franco or Anton Chigurh showed up offering ol’ Tommy Lee a chance to choose which shell the pea was under in order to win a coated lead injection prize for simply playing before Roskosmos shot Christine (now THERE was one beautiful Belvedere!) and the boys into space, why, I expect ol’ Tommy Lee would have told all three of them boys not to bother with the tomfoolery but to go on and git to shootin’.

Yeah, that’s how work is. So we won’t talk about that.

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They say one of the hallmarks of youth is impatience.

The Astas have yet to hit double digits and are already champing at the bit to be older; “Why can’t we do this; why do I have to ask permission; what’s wrong with saying fart – everyone else does?”

When will I be old enough?

Of course the short unspoken truth is…when you quit asking.

But there is no way to yet shorten that annoying lag time between their internalization of some new facet of life and the world’s, NO, their parents’ acceptance of their new-found maturity. 3

This alters as we age; hardly anyone is in a hurry to turn eighty. 4 However as a rule that sense of frustration, of not being listened to, of not being taken seriously seems like it lasts forever.

There is no one answer.

Part of it is faith: like money topical cultural beliefs require immense amounts of faith. To stop believing for even a second imperils the whole structure. If just one respectable TV critic really listened to a pair of 7 and 5 year old girls and stood up in the crowded mass media theater and said, “You know what? Lost is specious nonsense. American Idol, Survivor and Save Donald Trump’s Ego, all of ’em, ALL OF ‘EM, they’re all crap! All bad TV”, why it could start a conflagration that would engulf every papier-m ché icon of a show. 5

Great, you exclaim. Who first to flick their Bic? Uh, no one.

Because another part of the problem is change. Hardly anyone likes it. Sure, everyone claims they like change, but they’re lying. And that is doubly true for merchants, advertisers and newspaper editors – change means they have to rethink their product; they have to react to the consumer rather than have the consumer blindly accept what’s offered. Ick! What’s worse, this normally also involves an expenditure of capital above and beyond normal operating expenses, which in turn cuts into profits, which in turn makes the boys on The Street go “tsk tsk”, which in turn drops share prices, which in turn causes The Board to call you upstairs to sit up roll over play dead and beg for a bone, which in turn causes you to go back to what you had been doing before some sniveling children with their big ideas showed up…

It is very frustrating. It strikes at the heart of those who merely want to change the world.

But to the Astas, who have just experienced this epiphany for the first time, I beg you – don’t throw up your hands in resignation ; ‘ …la chose simplement d’elle-même arriva, comme la nuit se fait lorsque le jour s’en va,” Relax. Be patient. The world turns round and round and round; perception alters culture. There is is time even yet.
And by then you will haveyet even more world and perhaps think, “ J’ai dormi. Je pense que je suis meilleur. Ce n’est rien.”

Courage. Next year you will be 8 and 6. Lots can happen between now and then.

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Kudos to Walt, Gina and KCUR.

It appears that what could have been rather a mess was instead solved in a highly professional manner that speaks well of all involved. I trust KCUR will eventually make good use of the time; perhaps allow Kraske to practice long form journalism a couple days a week? There are certainly enough local issues outstanding to fill out a year’s worth of programming.

Take domestic terrorism. The Pitch’s Nadia Pflaum wrote a profile of a convicted felon turned neighborhood…organizer…a couple of weeks ago. As profiles go it was fine, but what really caught my interest was the gentleman’s claim that the violence being perpetuated on the East Side (by, percentage-wise, mostly East Side residents) is nothing more than a form of terrorism.

A veteran myself I find the notion compelling; the gentleman’s has a legitimate case.
What I would have found interesting, and even more useful to the ongoing public discourse, was a follow-up article on whether or not this terrorism is deliberate or accidental; that is, have the thugs ruining the East Side accidentally rediscovered eons old tactics adopted by “freedom fighters” the world over? Have they been reading Mao and Sun Tzu? 6 Or are they instead innately tuned in to the notion that terror works? In any case said article might have helped elucidate why East Side residents are discouraged about changing their lives, why they won’t “snitch out” the predators.

There are strategies to combat that. I’m sure the gentleman Nadia profiled could have talked about that at length. I’m also sure KC is not the first urban area to find itself with such moral blight, that experts from nearly every area of expertise could be inveigled to offer opinions, possible solutions and expected outcomes.

In fact to seriously cover just that topic in depth a week of 2-hour shows would be needed.
And that’s just one topic.

C’mon, KCUR – man up. Please don’t waste that hour with more daily soft shoe…

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Looking back through email, posts and news items I would have to say Lee Ingalls was the first in Kansas City …uh, Chicago…crap, Seattle with the news: he apprised me of Walt’s dénouement early on the 9th. A tip o’ the hat; KC will miss the insights into our local media his background brought.

I miss An Oddment, though Lee is threatening to bring it back. In the meantime he is playing with Twitter. If you liked An Oddment or his other blogs, perhaps his tweets will also sing to you. I’m still not “using” the service, but I have his Twit-page bookmarked for a daily wtf moment.

Yes, I have noticed that another half dozen blogs went tits up during my absence. We’ll so detail later this week.

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What else?

Let’s see, Our Friend is up in arms again. We’ll post something longish on this in a few days but it turns out that his kids’ school can’t meet their current debt load and so have decided to up incoming kindergarten enrolment from 85 bodies a year to 120 for the next decade. Also it is looking more and more likely that the Academie Lafayette will purchase one of the recently closed (or soon to be closed) KCSD building’s east of Troost to house its K-2 students. Finally, he says the Board seems to be edging toward writing out the ability of siblings to gain automatic entrance to the school: it seems too many white kids are attending and “hurting” diversity numbers.

As I say, as longer piece is forthcoming, but anyone out there with more information, especially any of the AL board members, please send it my way.

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And finally, to Top Me’s Friend: You need to DM me as I don’t have your addy.

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Show 6 footnotes

  1. Although I’m not sure I liked how Asta (seven-going-on-thirty) gazed at that sly fox. Nor how eagerly she inquired as to what else in his oeuvre had we yet to screen. Up to then I had been thinking about taking her to see the latest Pirates installment if only so I had a legitimate excuse to ogle Penelope Cruz’s magnificent superstructure on a largish screen. Not that I wouldn’t ogle them on my TV, it’s more a matter of what she deserve. In a more perfect world the old Glenwood Theater would still be in existence and Pirates Whatever would play there and I could ogle Ms Cruz’s wonderful mammaries in the lush style they richly deserve. Crom knows Tom Cruise certainly isn’t doing them justice. Not that I’m saying Tom’s gay {Yeah, like he so TOTALLY is!}, it’s just that anyone who willingly bounces up and down on Oprah’s couch over Katie Holmes is emotionally stunted and deserving of nothing more complicated than a high school cheerleader (and not the Lead cheerleader at that.)In any event I’m willing to bet that Ms Cruz’s breasts need some lavishing. Which I imagine Depp will chance to fawn over in the upcoming film…probably several times. Which is why now I don’t think I’ll be taking Asta to see Pirates Save Penelope’s Breasts. Not sure I want those ideas in Asta’s head yet. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll take Asta Jr. instead. She’s just 4, she undoubtedly won’t even notice the roiling seas, as it were, and can always hide her head in my arm when dead sailors make an appearance…
  2. Yes it involved tools and strenuous work; sweat, tears, cold libations and more than a couple of well-earned rest breaks, but eventually she was too spent to even grunt when I asked “Who’s your Daddy?” That’s right, I’m bragging. ’cause I am da’ King when it comes to yard work, ba-bay!
  3. Not to mention Nora and my insistence that they wait at least until they can write cursive to pen VP Biden a missive correcting his bad public manners. Especially if you, the parent, don’t give a fuck. I mean, passage of the health care bill IS fucking huge.
  4. Except, obviously, those 79 year old worthies who have scripts for excellent meds. And even then health issues may make that assumption less intuitive then one might believe.
  5. Or could have at one time; the current de facto assumption that TV execs are earnestly working to broadcast the best possible fare for the public is as inane as believing a US Senator has anyone’s best interest at heart but his own.
  6. Those of you scoffing right now are obviously too young to remember the Black Panthers, SDS and the Weathermen.

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