will not be televised

Non, je regrette rien environ 2008…

Okay, okay, okay!

There was that Powerball ticket that was 2 numbers away from $97 million. And, no, $13,682.23 is NOT the same as $97 million.

Yes, I know children are starving in China. Fuck you; children are ALWAYS starving in China.

Sigh.

Yes, it was embarrassing running into Boy George as he exited Sexodrome near Place Pigalle. I mean, what could he say, he just went in to bust a €10 note? God, and that pink hat…

And, yes. All right. I admit it. I regret mugging for the paparazzi like that after Brad bust in the house just as Angelina was leaving the shower. It showed a certain lack of maturity on my part. But, hell, I thought I acted just fine by not whuppin’ Brad’s ass. And even then it was only ’cause Angelina asked me not to. He’s a little crybaby, ask me.

And truth to tell, it might have been a mistake to blow off Sen. McCain that way. But I knew he was going to ask about dumping Palin in favor of Lieberman. And I probably would have told him “Hell, no. He stabbed the Dems in the back, what makes you think he won’t stab you, too? Don’t worry about Sarah - what’s the worst she could do?” I don’t know. In retrospect, maybe I should have talked to him.

But he had just blown off David Letterman and I like that show.

But I guess my biggest regret of 2008 was not sucking more ass at the office. Yeah, I’m a technical GS-14, but I still have to go into the field and kill dwarfs now and again. And I don’t know what you’ve heard but dwarfs, besides being just downright mean, are freakishly strong. As in “Monica” strong. They are not easy to kill. And I’m not getting any younger; just turned 97 right before Christmas, in fact. I could use a desk job, push some paper, maybe take some “in-house annual” now and again.

My problem is I just can’t brown-nose worth a shit. Oh, I try, but 9 times out of 10 I get so pissed off at the whole charade I end up pistol whipping some SESer and before you can say “ass end of the world” I’m out in the field again.

Sigh…

But, that’s it.

No real regrets worth mentioning in 2008.

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