Explains the beheaded body they found behind their sign last week….

As we promised previously, herewith follows the Asta’s verbatim reactions to yesterday’s big news:

Asta (8 going on 21): That sucks!

Asta Jr (6 going on Evel Knievel): Booooooooo! Boooooooo! Booooooooo!

Asta: Alan Rickman is clearly one of the best actors working today. Dada, he STOLE Die Hard, that was HIS movie; fuck Bruce Willis! And his ongoing depiction of Severus Snape is so good that when it turned out in The Deathly Hallows that he was actually good, that he was protecting Harry the whole time, I found it nearly impossible to readjust my expectations of his behavior. Don’t misunderstand me, I was relieved, but I was so used to thinking of him as a slitherin’ snake…well, that’s one fine piece of acting, that’s what I think. The Academy has their head up their ass.

Asta Jr: Steven Spielberg is a hack!

Asta: Jonah Hill? Jonah Hill!? C’mon….

Asta Jr: That’s just studio promotion, a bastard by-blow of their new social media campaign to legitimize Brad “I Pumped & Dumped America’s Sweetheart” Pitt. Pitt’s nuthin’ but a one-trick pony, the guy who for years got by on his patented mid-western (probably meth head) redneck shtick. Hell, if Cruise doesn’t get serious bromance wood for Pitt and further ruins an already execrable film by casting him as a vampire – a fucking vampire?! - Freeman doesn’t green-light him as his partner in Se7en and he remains stuck in the Dallas-occasional-movie loop.

Asta: I didn’t know he was in Dallas…

Asta Jr: …the reboot, not the original…

Asta: JR was a prick.

Nick: When did you see Dallas?

Asta Jr: Sometimes mom brings out these tapes, VHS?, and we all sit on the couch and eat popcorn and watch 2 or 3 stories in a row! It’s fun! Mom makes fun of all the poufy hair and the dresses with cardboard shoulders…

Asta: …lots of times we’d watch when you’re golfing.

Asta Jr: …but the point, the point IS, Rickman is a classically trained actor who’s been nominated for more awards than Pitt’s got dimples. And he deserved every one. Yet the Oscars keep ignoring him…

Asta: Look, I understand the sentiment behind Plummer and von Syndow, I really do; they’ve both been nominated before, not won and Oscar would like to gift them. But the reality is only one of them can win, and if they give it to the gay guy…

Asta Jr: Wait. I think he only played a gay guy, not that he is gay…

Asta: Ryan at school says he’s gay.

Asta Jr: How does he know?

Asta: His dada tol’ him. Said everybody in Hollyweird is fuckin’ gay. Dada…where’s Hollyweird?

Asta Jr: Whatevah. Don’t worry about it; agin, there’s only one winner, only one guy gets the trophy…

Asta: It’s not a trophy; it’s a statue…

Asta Jr: Whatevah. There’s still only one. Whichever guy doesn’t get it will die soon anyway; it’s a waste of a nomination…I’m surprised they didn’t just go ahead and nominate that stupid war horse.

Asta: Again…Jonah Hill? Really? Jonah Hill!? C’mon….

Asta Jr: They’re gonna give it to Nolte anyway…

Asta: Are not!

Asta Jr: Are too! Oscar feels bad about shorting the guy for Affliction. Besides, he nails the role…alcoholic…

Asta: Playing to type, if you ask me…

Asta Jr: And Branagh doing Olivier gets nominated? Maybe if the movie had Branagh doing Olivier doing Caligula, maybe then…

Nora: Wait! What do you girls know about Caligula?

Atsa Jr: Sometimes when you’re working Dada will talk on the phone and say stuff like “I’m gonna show here my Caligula side tonight, the hard core version…”

Nick: I think maybe she misheard…

Nora: Are there many words that sound like Caligula?

Asta: Whatevah, mom! Point is Rickman got screwed. That’s all there is to it.

Asta Jr: Is there any popcorn? I’m hungry for popcorn…

Nora: Ask your Da to pick some up; he’s headed out of the house anyway…

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Meep meep!

C'mon, guys. It's my turn to drive!

We are sincere in our empathy for those of you who found something, anything else to occupy your Monday evening instead of the recursive loop as described by the alternating drivers of the GOP clown car.

We certainly wish we had fired up and listened to some music instead. Alas, we apparently do not have the sense Thor gave rocks. So let us note a thing or two for you…

While political ‘debates’ are almost always short on facts, many of the assertions Monday night were laughable; the U.S. did not cancel a US-Israeli joint exercise - Israel’s defense minister has plainly said he did; nor was the ’comparison’ of our current naval force to that of 1917 particularly apt. We had thought that one had been put to bed, but nooooooooooooo, back it comes. 

One of the more hysterical 1 moments of the evening occured when it was revealed that the GOP is seemingly unaware that M. Castro, being aged, frail and ill, sometime back transferred most of his authority to Raul 2 and minions. Moreover, this great cinematic mass exodus the GOP expects when Fidel dies? probably not so much…

And while we’re on Cuba, regime change? Really? WTF? Didn’t we just say Fidel holds no effective power any more? That the man is clinging to life by a damp Bounty paper towel? 3 Maybe the jackasses just want to be seen as ‘strong’ on military matters, huh? One understands the temptation to get all (verbally) froggy in the case of Iran , to shout we shouldn’t be talking to the Taliban -even if the Pros From Dover disagree – but Cuba? Give it a rest. 4

Justification for this jingoism was refered back to Shrubs’ old canard – “listening to the military”. Except, as we have already noted, none of the candidates is doing that. They are instead claiming to while promulgating their own insane ideas, an approach military leaders themselves find ‘offensive.’

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We of course had the Astas watch the ‘debate’ with us.

Asta (now 8 going on 21) remarked that a) boys are generally mean, and b) the white haired guy looked just like a toad. Atsa Jr (6 going on Evel Knievel) commented that all of the boys, except the skinny sick one on the end, would have to spend a lot of time in The Non-cooperative Chair if they were in her class.

Perhaps a tad jejune, yes. However those insights are still more honest than what we’ve heard from the media.

Later today we will post the Asta’s reaction to yesterday’s big news…

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Speaking of toads…

If you happen to have the day off, or work downtown and can scoot out of your office for a bit, Case.net still shows the Wright-Botello case management conference scheduled to happen this morning at 9:30, Division 7 in the courthouse, 415 E 12th st.

We doubt you will be invited to listen in. 

However, what with (supposed) 1st Amendment rights on the line, as well as the case (possibly) assisting further delineation of the nebulous blogger-journalist demarcation, we fully expect the Pitch to send the A-Team (Peter Rugg or Justin Kendall) to query both lawyers, if not the defendant – Kansas City’s Most Obnoxious blogger – himself. 5 Given the possible import, even the Star should send at least a copy boy, doncha think?

If so it should be entertaining, to say the least, watching as tkc fumbles all over himsef in public. 6

MID MORNING UPDATE: According to case.net, today’s conference has produced (so far) -

  • Order:Grant A. Atkinson’s Motion; Withdraw, Counsel of Record
  • Order: Scheduling and Trial Order

It appears tkc wants to let everyone in on his defense. Though we’re still not sure how his lawyer is going to attempt to prove his (and John Doe1 & John Doe2) comments were not malicious; everything on tkc’s blog appears malicious.

Any one at the courthouse with a LIVE update?

Eating A Fricking Salad For Lunch Update:

Justice may be many things, but swift certainlyain’t one of them.

tkc’s pretrial conference is set for November 19th, 2012, @ 1:30 PM, again Division 7. The actual jury trial is scheduled for November 26th, @ 9:00 AM; judge Ann Mesle will preside at both venues.

Get your tickets early – there’s not a lot of spectator chairs in those rooms….

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  1. As in “funny, ha ha”, as well as “omg these people want to run foreign policy!?!?!”
  2. His brother, in case you lack a scorecard.
  3. The debate continues to rage; ask a million moms, get a million different responses. However, the point being he ain’t got long.
  4. If this hooting and hollering sounds familiar, as though Shrub and The Dark Lord were still running things, perhaps that’s because the same old tired deabeats responsible for the Iraq War (John Bolton and Dan Senor to name two) have been hired by the Gingrich, Romney and Santorum campaigns.
  5. No, we don’t expect Doe1, John and Doe2, John, fellow defendants, to appear. Mostly because, in our humble opinion, they don’t exist. But what the hell, we were wrong once before…
  6. One hopes his lawyer will have had the sense to force him to K-Mart to buy clothes other than nasty sweats.
Posted in 2012 idiocy, blogging, journalism, Kansas City, why we can't have nice things | Leave a comment

Bloody damn butchering Nazi pig

I cast you out! Unclean spirit! Leave, leave now! The Power of John Kennedy compels you!

As Newt Gingrich continues one of the most successful book tours ever, let’s take a moment to examine yet another Republican 1 whack-job running for his party’s nomination.

Last Friday Rick Santorum did an interview with Piers Morgan. 2 At one point Morgan asked Santorum how he would counsel a raped and pregnant daughter. Ol’ Rickey’s response:

I would do what every father must do: Counsel your daughter to do the right thing. You can make the argument that if she doesn’t have this baby, if she kills her child, that too could ruin her life.

“This is not an easy choice. I understand that. As horrible as the way that son or daughter was created, it still is her child.

(via)

Whew; that’s one empathetic bastard right there. But it’s to be expected; Rick’s had experience with this before, with his wife. His wife who had an abortion.

Karen Santorum was given Pitocin to induce labour so that the fatal infection she had would not kill her. And it was the right thing to do, no doubt about it. However a medically-assisted labour at 20 weeks 3 is an abortion. No doubt about it. 4

So…according to this presidential-wannabe, his wife is spared the agony of death by sepsis but his child must raise a rape-begotten bastard.

I’m sure he would even insist his daughter use the fine folk at UHC for her pre-natal care…

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  1. In name only.
  2. Said fact begs an unholy number of questions: Piers Morgan? The Piers Morgan of Murdoch’s News of the World and Daily Mirror sleazery (investigated for stock insider trading), that Piers Morgan? WTF is he doing in America? Do we just hand out visas to every Tom, Dick and Piers who think they’re famous? And who the fuck gave Piers a show when he’s (hopefully) soon off to prison for his (presumptive) involvement with the Murdoch phone hacking scandals? I mean, WTF?!?!?!
  3. A full term pregnancy would be anything past 37 weeks.
  4. And here we’ll just pretend the whole bring-the-aborted-fetus-home-kiss-and-cuddle-it-and-take-pictures-with-your-toddlers thing simply never happened, okay?
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Sandusky can die next

Joe died over the weekend.

As you might expect this reignited the “conversation” regarding his departure from Penn State late last year. 

As to the contention that Paterno should, first and foremost, be remembered for his contributions to Penn State football and the university more generally, horseshit.

While dear mater instructed that if one had nothing positive to say about an individual one should stay their speech, it is worth noting the lady was married to an abusive drunk who was free with his fists, and her silence earned her, and those around her, nothing but enduring pain.

Fuck Joe Paterno for countenancing child rape, now and forever. 

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Posted in college ball, societal ills, why we can't have nice things | Tagged | 4 Comments

One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth…

Fail

‘”Something that has failed should be all the more honored just because it has failed — this agrees much better with my morality. — “God”‘ 1

We will presume that neither Friedrich or “God” had the South Carolina primary results in mind when contemplating the above statement. 2

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  1. Ecco Homo, Nietzsche
  2. Though it is a knottier issue to give “God” a pass on this; “His” infinite wisdom created the jack-booted, licentious Nazi-in-training that is Newt. Which, if given a second’s consideration, is even more proof for evolution: no sane “God” would have created Newt in the first place, much less molded the thug in “Their” likeness.
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