Kopter Express, based in Moscow, Russia, gets right down to brass tacks:
Within 10 minutes of ordering our dispatcher will call you. Once the dispatcher has confirmed you require our services, a Kopter will arrive at your location within 30 minutes.
An SMS and/or phone call will inform you when the Kopter is hovering overhead your location. You will then have 5 minutes to get outdoors with your parcel. Look up: 20 meters above you will be our Kopter hovering quietly above you.
The dispatcher will be able to see you via on-board video camera and will again call you on the phone to walk you through the next steps. Which start with the Kopter lowering a container, 40 cm x 40 cm, on a cable to you. Once you are able, place your parcel in the container and close it. Let the dispatcher know you are ready, whereupon the container will be reeled back up to the Kopter and depart, at speeds up to 100 kmh, to the addressee.
Your parcel will arrive in the addressee’s hand in the next 30 minutes.
And you can monitor -in real time!- your parcel’s flight via GPS, as well as watch via the on-board video-cam. Our delivery remains completely under your control!
- If it’s real; my translation skills are far too poor to pick up idiom that would point to yet another spoof. ↩
- From the FAQ page: What prevents me not to pay for transportation or even to steal a kopter? First of all we count on your decency. In the second, the dispatcher will watch all the time your actions via the chamber established on a kopter; from all chambers there is a continuous video to us on the server. In the third, a kopter to steal it will not turn out, because at the moment of loading and unloading it hangs at height of 20 meters over the earth and if strongly to pull for a rope, will work the mechanism of an emergency release of a rope, and the kopter will depart. ↩
- Pretty sure I read something in the stockholder’s portfolio about “beautiful Russian brides” for every early investor. But as I mentioned, my Russian is a tad rusty. ↩