Hello Kitty

If further proof were needed they 1 are all out to get your money 2 (as well as further drive one to distraction), comes now the Hello Kitty movie.

I shit thee not:

[T]here’s going to be a Hello Kitty movie. Repeat: Hello Kitty is getting her own movie. Need to hear this information one more time? Hello Kitty + movie = our wildest dreams have FINALLY come true.

According to Deadline Hollywood, Sanrio is ready to take this kitty to the big screen (OK, but she’s not really a cat, we get it). It was only a matter of time before she made this big leap. Our Kitty White already has a well established empire, including, but not limited to: television shows, conventions, cafes, food trucks, a clothing line, a jewelry line, an organic farm, appearances at theme parks, and the list goes on and on. A big budget blockbuster just makes sense.

Deadline reports that it’ll be anywhere from $160 million–$240 million. Just for comparison, both Inside Out and Jurassic World had budgets between $150 and $200 million. So I assume Hello Kitty: The Movie will be made out of gold and then painted pink.

A $160 million–$240 million budget for a cat?

Can you cay Garfield redux?

Hello Kitty

Show 2 footnotes

  1. The ubiquitous they, of course.
  2. No further confirmation is needed at the Charles manse; they have convinced the Astas that certain Pokémon cards will be worth gazillions of yen…in the future!…so that we must stop and run in to every Target we pass. Gaaah!

Donald Trump

Asta said: “I told you that that nail head was too small!”

But Nora was saying: “I don’t understand why everyone takes Donald Trump so seriously; he’s obviously a stooge. In fact he could have been the 6th Stooge. 1 It just makes no sense.”

As I aimed a stream of water from our surprisingly ineffective garden hose (its aperture set to Very Light Sprinkle) at the The Eye of Fire!, which had flown off it’s base and was now spewing flames every which way from a prone position on the patio, incidentally singing the hell out the galvanized garbage can, I puzzled over why anyone would be surprised at The Comb-over’s early standings.

Was I truly the only person who had watched the Rethugs eagerly delve deeper into the mire since Ronnie Raygun? Because the inescapable conclusion is Trump is the natural next step in the Rethug’s continuing devolution: an aging obtuse white male, rich despite himself, with a Teflon-like imperviousness to his stupidity and racism. And remember, it was just one election cycle ago that the same people who idolize Trump seriously thought about voting into the White House a secessionist, Rick “We Doan Need No Stinkin’ Federal Gmmint Except In Case of Drought or Other Calamity” Perry 2, the crypto-fascist Newt “I’m Fatter Than Sidney Sheldon” Gingrich, or the obviously mentally unhinged Bachmann.

Wake up: Trump is the embodiment of everything for which the Tea “Build A Wall Between US & Mexico” Party stands. Of course the right-wing Rethugs are buying his schtick.

The Eye of Fire! finally extinguished, the snickering neighbors returned to their late night card game, it occurred to me (while watching FluffyRainbowSparkleHoney begging to be let back indoors [there to disgorge the liquefied remains of the half dozen cicadas she’d scarfed up while I was distracted]) that Trump is the least of it: Paul Rand has recently been courting Cliven Bundy.

The Civil War is not over, folks, despite the swastika coming down in South Carolina. It never will be. And Trump knows that.

Donald Trump

Show 2 footnotes

  1. It being well known that the 4th Stooge was Shemp and the unheralded 5th Stooge was Emil Sitka.
  2. Hey! Perhaps second time’s the charm, amirite?!

Au Courant

This week’s au courant links:

And finally, John Oliver on transgender rights:

Au Courant

Show 1 footnote

  1. Well, fuck: wouldn’t you? Daleks are nuthin’ to screw around with…